How to Find a Men's Therapist in Arlington, VA
One of the major problems of therapy is getting people to therapy. Not to downplay how undersupplied Virginia is with therapists compared to therapy seekers, but marketing is an equal if not greater issue in getting people care. Why would this be the case given the abundance of platforms you can use to browse counselors near you? There’s probably too much marketing, not enough quality and targeted marketing.
Sure, you can quickly find any therapist. However, therapy seekers have to sort through an overwhelming set of options when looking for a therapist who specializes in their needs: EMDR, somatic therapy or men’s issues. It’s doubly difficult to find a specialist with an in-person office close to where you live given the high rent costs in the DMV. Because of the proliferation of marketing spend from online therapy brokers like BetterHelp, in-person therapists are often buried in search results under virtual therapists. And sometimes – unfortunately – virtual-only therapists market themselves as having an office, but you only find this out when you set up a consultation.
Compared to marketing for special populations for therapy, the marketplace for therapists catering to men’s issues is still underdeveloped. One of the best innovations that comes to mind for other populations is Therapy for Black Girls founded by Dr. Joy Harden in 2021. The foundation was created to address the mental health needs specific to black women and girls, with culturally-responsive services and therapists. There are a few equivalent websites for finding a male specialist, but the directories are sparse and often list only one or two therapists per mid-size states like Virginia or Maryland. One of my long-held professional goals is to one day create an in-person therapy center for men and boys mental health issues in Arlington, Virginia.
How to Find a Men's Therapist Near You
Finding the right male therapist for you can seem daunting, but there are several strategies you can use to simplify the process. First, my hand is raised to support you and I encourage you to reach out for a consultation if you’re curious about someone who specializes in mens therapy near you. Even if I’m not the right fit for you, I’d be happy to brainstorm with you ways to locate a men's therapist in Arlington, Fairfax, Alexandria, or wherever you’re located in Virginia.
If we did get on the phone together, there are a few tips I’d share. I’d point you to any friends, partners, healthcare providers like your PCP or any other trusted connections you know who might have recommendations. If you’re a male in graduate school or college, the university should have a list of therapists who they can vouch for as trustworthy. All of these recommendations will improve the odds you find a therapist with a proven track record of effectiveness.
Some online directories and professional organizations can be useful resources. You could also type into google searches like mens counseling near me or mens therapy near me and it will usually show you local options. Websites like Psychology Today or platforms like Rula offer searchable databases of licensed therapists. In most cases, you can filter results based on location, specialties, and other criteria to find a therapist who specializes in men's issues. These platforms often include profiles and reviews, giving you a better sense of each therapist's approach and expertise.
One word about using a virtual therapist in the DMV area. Even though you might live in Arlington VA and an online therapist is located 10 minutes away in Washington, DC, they might not be able to see you given restrictions on providers practicing in states where they don’t have licenses. It could be the case that this therapist is licensed in multiple states, but it’s worth checking!
Once you have narrowed down your list of potential therapists, it’s always good form to schedule initial consultations to find the right fit. Like myself, probably all therapists offer a free 10 or 15 minute consultation session allowing you to discuss your concerns and get a feel for their style. Pay attention to how comfortable you feel during these meetings. A good therapist should make you feel heard, respected, and understood. Trust your instincts and choose a therapist with whom you feel a genuine connection.
Why Seek Therapy with a Male Therapist or a Therapist who Specializes in Men’s Issues?
I’ll give you the research-informed answer first, then the answer I’d have based on my own experiences as a therapist who works with men.
One of the decisions you’ll have to make when looking for a therapist is their gender. You might be filtering for this very consciously, subconsciously, or somewhere in between. The strength of your preference could range from indifferent to passionate. So, what does the research say about what men should consider when they’re picking the gender of their therapist? A key study involving 2000 men tried to answer this question.
Per the findings, researchers came to the conclusion that men are much more satisfied with therapy when they see a therapist of the gender they prefer. Said differently, when a man preferred a female counselor but then ended up meeting with male counselor, or conversely a guy wanted to see a male but got matched with a female practitioner, the participants gave the same negative feedback about their experience: they felt emasculated and like “less of a man”. Men in the study reported a primary reason for their preference for a male was that they believed their male therapist would better understand them, which meshes most with my own perspective.
As a fellow guy, especially in the age range of my typical clients (young men in their 20s and 30s), my surface area for connections is just so much larger when lined up against that of a female or older male therapist. I have more recent experience in the relationship and dating culture via Hinge, and I have a sharper sense of the unwritten and nuanced rules, sensitivities and norms that you’re bumping up against in relationships and dating but you can’t quite name. Similarly, I have a more lived understanding of male friendship dynamics, common hobbies for guys, and workplace issues that helps me quickly and accurately attune to your experiences. And isn’t that why we seek therapy from a person rather than AI or book? We want a person who deeply gets us.
Conclusion: Taking the First Step Toward Finding a Male Therapist in Your Area
I hope this blog gave you some helpful guidance in locating a men's therapist in your area, as well as insight into why a men's specialist might be the right therapist for you. Regardless of what gender therapist you choose, the first step towards mental wellness can be daunting and it’s also a courageous choice toward growth. Good for you for sticking your neck out and trying something different.
Finding a good therapist in Arlington involves research, reflection, and persistence – don’t get demoralized if the process takes longer than you’d like and please maintain confidence that you’ll eventually find someone who gets you and supports you. If you’d like to learn more about what working with a male specialist can do for you, contact me.
